Some Tips For Happiness

Trying to get myself out of a gloomy mood; thinking positively. So here goes some tips:

1. Make the best of your circumstances. No one has everything and everyone has something of sorrow mixed with the gladness of life. The trick is to make the laughter outweigh the tears.

2. Make up your mind to be happy. Learn to find pleasure in little things.

3. Don't spend your life brooding over mistakes or misfortunes. Don't be one that never gets over things.

4. You can't please everyone. Don't let criticism hurt you.

5. Don't let neighbor's set  your standard ( there's no need "keeping up with the Joneses"). Be yourself.

6. Don't borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder to bear than actual ones.

7. Don't take yourself too seriously.

8. Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish enmities or grudges. Avoid people who make you unhappy.

9. Do what you can for those who are less fortunate than yourself.

10. Pray for happiness.

SAD!

In the course of my daytime job (my recent night time job is surfing the net), I've come in contact with needles; from syringes to lancets. Using needles has never given me any cause for concern but heard this news last night that made me a little restless.

At the State Teaching Hospital yesterday a young doctor passed on. He graduated some years back from a prestigious medical school in the United States, got married to his heart throb (a gorgeous Pharmacist). They both decided to travel back home to Nigeria with plans to possibly relocate. In Nigeria, University graduates have to undergo a one-year youth  service program, to serve the community and make a positive impact in the communities they get posted to. The couple decided to serve their motherland and was posted to the State Teaching Hospital. They were both enjoying their stay but this all took a drastic turn yesterday. I can virtually imagine the couple having breakfast, giving each other a quick kiss on the lips and saying a hasty goodbye not knowing that may be the last.

At the OPD (Out Patient Department), he had to attend to so many patients one of which was a HIV infected patient.
Maybe he got negligent because of the large crowd he had to attend to.
Maybe he was just distracted.
Maybe it was meant to be.
Maybe.......
Unfortunately, in the course of giving an injection he mistakenly pricked himself with the syringe used for the patient. Its natural to panic after such exposure and its custom practice to give a prophylactic injection. Almost immediately Antiretroviral postexposure  prophylaxis was given. He developed severe allergic reaction to the injection and started swelling all over. All the consultants tried all they could to resuscitate him to no avail. In less than 10 minutes, the young bubbling doctor slipped on........Still in shock about it all.
Would it have been better if he hadn't taken the injection instead?

All health care practitioners should always ensure test dose is given to all patients before giving any IV/ IM injection.
Preserve life, not end it.

How Long Should Courtship Last?

This was the topic of discussion this morning with my younger sister as we were getting ready for work. Her close friend/colleague is finally getting married to her hearthrob after dating him for NINE years!(he eventually popped the question) We were both happy for her and excited that the marriage will eventually take place. But NINE years!!!! With no commitment! Not even an introduction between both families. The bride-to-be doesn't even know her father-in-law yet. Haba!!! Pardon me, i may be a little old-skool and not an average 21st century babe but NINE years!!!! I'd have been very understanding if he's reluctant cos of financial constraint or she's still in school. That's not so in this case, she graduated over 5 years ago and he has a very lucrative business. Now enough of my busy-body '"tatafo" gossip and back to the main gist. How long should a couple date before he pops the question?

Reading some literature in the past, studies have shown that the average human can have a feeling of intense chemistry that lasts for approximately 18months and 4 years. The well known love-related chemical phenylethylamine-PEA  ( also dopamine and norepinephrine) is actually what is responsible for mad passionate "lovey dovey" feeling. That feeling of instant chemistry, always wanting to be his/her company, the feeling of your heart skipping a beat when they walk by. Sadly that fades (maximum 4 years). 

In romance novels it ends with happily ever; in the real world that's when your eyes gets literally open. Open to ALL the flaws. That's when you begin to see the long sexy nose as been very ugly and gosh how did you cope with all those funny habits all the while. At this stage the relationship is based on the attachment, friendship and companionship.This does no mean that love fades, it just means that the initial excitement withers a little.

Now if it is difficult or impossible for him to care for you strongly enough to insinuate that he wants to spend his whole life with you when he is all high on neurotransmitters and adrenaline, what's the assurance that he'll develop those feelings later. Like my friend Emma always says: "A man will know if he can marry you after a spending some hours in your company". 

Personally my opinion if everything is in place and a guy can't commit within 4 years of a stable healthy relationship, i'll advice you to tread very very carefully.

Nice guys

You ever wonder why bad boys get all the good babes?

you see this lady, obviously well trained and with good family background,

yet shes in a mindless, all consuming relationship with a "good-for-nothing

bastard". This makes you and I wonder why right?

we usually begin to snicker and make such comments like "Girlfriend, open your eyes!", "You deserve better than this" or "Abi na jazz?"

Likewise some bad girls end up with very good guys

After countless abortions, exposing themselves to all sorts in their youth, 

then when they are ready to settle down.....

Viola! They get a perfect guy, gorgeous and all.

Here in my opinion are some of the reason why i think nice guys don't win the win the women, in fact bad guys do....I'm not saying all of this cause of a silent crave for a bad guy

neither do i want my very nice bobo to have a change in personality.

Just feel its better to be real than pretend to be a NICE GUY 

Nice Guys Don't Put Themselves First

One of their biggest problem is that most are hideously insecure.

They are so anxious to be liked and loved. 

They do things for other people to gain acceptance and attention,

rather than for the simple pleasure of giving.

They are so desperate to please that they put aside their own need

and place the object of their desire on a pedestal.

Instead of appreciating us, they worship us.

We are only humans and pedestals are narrow confining places to be on-

not to mention the fact that we tend to fall off them

Nice guys rarely speak up when something bothers them,

and rarely state clearly what it is they want, need and expect.

They fear that any kind of conflict might spell then end of the relationship.

Instead of compromising and negotiating, they repeatedly give in.

When she doesn't appreciate their sacrifice,

they will complain saying "Everything i did, i did for her"

as if that somehow elevates them to the status of martyrs.

A woman doesn't want a martyr,

she wants an equal, caring, adult partner.

Its Easier For Nice Guys To Mess Up

Having a brand as a "nice guy" enormously raises expectations:

The truth is, no one is nice 100% of the time,

even if they screw up by accident.

The difference is that when the when the slightly jerky guy screws,

"that's just how he is sometimes",

whereas when the nice guy screws up,

he's perceived as a hypocrite who was only pretending to be nice all along. 

Nice Guys Take Too Long To Recover

Bad guys shrug off rejection fast.

Nice guys by contrast, work very slowly.

If they get rejected, they spend weeks or months licking their wounds

before restarting the cycle.

Nice Guys Have Hidden Agenda

in general, being a good person is attractive.

For some nice guys, their niceness is not real.

Such a guy get into the habit of performing services for these women,

trying to ingratiate himself into their company.

Now you may begin to wonder,

"what's going on here?", "what does women really want!"

Its actually very simple.

Women at times don't base their choice of men on how nice he is.

They choose the men they do because they feel a powerful gut level of attraction (not compulsorily sexual) to them.

And guess what?

Being a nice guy wont make a woman feel that powerful attraction to you.

And being 'overtly nice' wont make a woman choose you.

A woman can instinctively perceive pretense.

JUST BE YOU and BE REAL!

I realize that this doesn't make a lot of logical sense and may be hard to accept

but just as the cliche says:

Nice Guys Finish Last

Just thinking........

When we are confused, we need lots of advice from advice from everyone.
We constantly begin asking people around us their opinion about  what we should do.
This is a covert way of being irresponsible! Not only do we not have to make any decisions ourselves, but if the advice other give doesn't work, we can still blame THEM for the outcome.


Constantly asking for advice to help us with our confusion is a way to remain a child and avoid growing up. 
We secretly, or not so secretly always want to be rescued , perhaps by the "daddy" we never had.

Welcome to 'Blogging'

This is going to be my very first post here......
I define myself as a classic "reader", because i can read almost anything. My reading material can range from trashy magazines, autobiographies, very old newspapers, manual from products, interesting bestseller, boring journals....... I particularly enjoy reading people's blog, i do this with a BIG grin on my face ( sometimes laughing at some of their escapades and other times crying at their pain). 


Writing is not really my thing but this is a new year, with new possibilities and new resolutions, so viola! Here goes......
This is the new re-branded and re-packaged ME.
Hope u"ll enjoy reading and as much as i enjoy struggling with it.