Friday, 7 June 2013

Detachment...... Hanging on to things loosely


I saw a strange sight one morning as i rushed to work. A young well dressed aesthetically built woman was in her car in traffic waiting for the red light to turn green. When it turned green and the cars began to move, a "danfo" commercial bus driver overtook her and possibly "grazed" her car. She was out of the car in a flash and pursued the bus on barefoot. As soon as the bus driver saw her coming, he left the queue and overtook the other cars and sped off. This did not end her pursuit, she ran as fast as she could onto the other side of the road (Thank God that at that time there were no cars coming from that direction!). She only stopped this pursuit when the car joined the main road and then she came panting backwards.

I leave to your imagination the traffic chaos she had caused for the 3-5 minutes she was in hot pursuit. Cars could not move, horns were blaring.......
I just watched the whole scenario in absolute utter disbelief. Throughout this pursuit, the car door was open, the engine was on and the key was in the ignition. I couldn't help wondering what "Aunty"would have done if one guy with nerves of steel had attempted to solve the traffic jam by helping "Aunty" remove the car albeit.....permanently.

I was at a loss for words because over the years i have learnt to hold on to material things loosely.
I have learnt that the most important thins of life are largely irreplaceable. They are usually taken for granted and they include things like life, good health, peace, joy, the love and respect of friends and family, a realistic sense of one's worth or value, goodwill, a good name............. These cannot be qualified in monetary terms and when lost, are not easy to replace.

"Aunty" could have fractured a leg or been hit by a car while running after this commercial vehicle. The pride of her life "her car" could have been hit by other cars or been "borrowed" by a good Samaritan for safe keeping. Her reaction showed me the immense value she placed on replaceable material things.
It reminded me to hold on tightly to the things that matter and loosely to those things that only have pecuniary value. I'm learning to lay up my treasures where neither moth or rust doth corrupt.

Thursday, 2 May 2013

Guest Post: What Would You Do Differently- If You Were Involved

Recently - 7 days ago to be precise. I received a phone call from my sister (sister in-law in fact hey, what's the difference?) . She was heavily pregnant and i had been warming up for a godmother role (no rival!). She sounded distressed and wanted to know what she should do. I joggled my stale obstetrics knowledge and told her what she described to me over the phone was "meconium- stained liquor". In lay man's term- the baby was in distress and needed to be delivered PRONTO/ASAP. I encouraged her to return to her hospital immediately. She did.

I was comforted by this fact and slept believing all was well- it was NOT. 12 hours after presenting at the hospital, she had not been reviewed by her obstetrician. I urged her to move to another hospital as soon as she could. Before the move could be effected, the doctor showed up (16 hours after her obstetric emergency presented). She had emergency Caesarean section one hour later- baby was dead at birth.

Pray tell me.......

  • Would the doctor have shown up earlier if this case was his family member?
  • Would the doctor have responded promptly if she had presented to his private hospital and not the general hospital where he works?
  • Should we ensure litigation/and proper redress sought with the heaviest possible penalty doled out?
  • How many more women and unborn babies have been victims of this recklessness and conscienceless approach to work?
  • how many more people will pay dearly for avoidable human errors like this?
  • Who will be next victim.

My advice to ALL pregnant women is this:

Friday, 1 February 2013

What Men Want

Well  i know the internet is already agog with stories about " How to please a  man", "How to make sure your boyfriend pops the question", "Ways to keep him coming back and asking for more". Usually i don't bother my small head with such issues but lately the rate at which marriages hit the rock is increasing by the day and gradually becoming serious cause for concern.

Men feel women are difficult to understand and are very complex beings.  But men sef get small wahala. So..... what keeps men happy? Surely not our flawless make-up or Brazilian weave (although these may help sometimes). Alcohol/ Beer? Big boobs? Great sex? Well..... though they may never have enough of them, that's may not be what's keeping them in a relationship. Stumbled on this and will like to share. Men want 3 As and 1S.

  1.  Appreciation.
  2. Acknowledgment.
  3. Affection.
  4. Space. 

All men wants to be Appreciated. Sometimes even more than a woman. And this appreciation unfortunately doesn't end in the living room or dining table, or after giving you allowance for upkeep. They want to be appreciated for their performance in bed as well. In fact it boost their ego as well.

Acknowledge what they have done for you. This is actually an extension of the first one. But acknowledging small things they have done gives their morale and ego a great boost. If he makes coffee when you have breakfast, or use the duvet to cover you up properly, thank him and acknowledge his deeds - possibly in front of others as well! He'll definitely want to do more.

Be Affectionate.  Don't think men like to be nurtured. Well.....their way could be completely different from a woman's. They need to be cuddled and pampered, but please ladies just in little doses. You know how too much curry/ knorr cubes makes the stew taste funny, same thing here. Show it in subtle ways like making their evening drink or a massage when he looks particularly tired one evening.

S for SPACE. The S-factor plays a very important role. All men cherish their own space. Don't be a watch dog following him everywhere. They need their own time out; be it reading or watching TV. Also, it is important they go on guy dates. Time away with his friends is as important to him as shopping with your besties is to a woman. Give him his space (occasionally) and he'll dote on you for life.

Welcome to a Fab February.

Wednesday, 9 January 2013

New Dawn

Happy new year all.

No excuse for my show of laziness, absolutely no excuse! Won't bother to give an excuse about work, busy schedule or......... Will dust myself up and begin again. A lot has happened within the last couple of months.
It feels good to be back.

Some excellent tips (by Warren Buffet)  i came across and will like to share here.

ON EARNING: "Never depend on single income. Make investment to create second source"

ON SPENDING: "If you buy things you do not need, soon you will sell things you need"

ON SAVINGS: "Do not save what is left after spending, but spend what is left after saving"

ON TAKING RISKS: "Never test the depth of a river with both feet"

ON INVESTMENT: "Do not put all your eggs into one basket"

ON EXPECTATION: "Honesty is a very expensive gift. Do not expect it from cheap people"

Lots of wisdom in these short statement.