Thots For Today

Today we have higher buildings and wider highways,
but shorter temperament and narrower points of view.

We spend more, but enjoy less.
We have bigger houses, but smaller families.
We have more knowledge, but less judgement.
We have more medicine, but less health.

We have multiplied  our possessions,
but reduced our values.
We talk much,
We love only a little,
and we hate so much.

We've reached the moon and came back,
but we find it troublesome to cross our own street and meet our neighbours.
We have conquered space, but not our inner space.

We have higher income but less morals...
These are times with more liberty, but less joy...
With more  food, but less nutrition....

These are days in which two salaries come home, but divorces increase.
These are times of finer houses but more broken homes.

That's why i propose that as of today;
Do not keep anything for a special occasion because every day that you live is a special occasion.
Search for knowledge, read more.
Sit on your front porch and admire the view.
Spend more time with your family.
Eat your favorite food.
Visit the place you love.
Life is a chain of moments of enjoyment; it isn't only survival.

Use your crystal goblets.
Do not save your best perfume... use it every time you feel you want it.
Take out vocabulary phrases like "one of these days" and "someday".
Write that letter, call or text that friend now!
Let's tell our families and friends how much we love them.
Never pass up a chance of adding laughter and joy to your life.
Every day, every hour , every hour is special because it can be your very last.

A Book To Read

I'm so excited, got my first blog giveaway. Usually very terrible at winning gifts but this just dropped on my laps without doing much *grins*.

The first freebie i ever won was an OMO t-shirt abbout 15 years back (Lever brothers had some form of promo then), and i smiled and glowed all day. I can vividly remember the UPS man. He parked his bike in front of our house, briskly walked to the gate, and asked for yours truly. I actually felt like a celebrity that day.

 I've read some of Atilola stories and she's a great writer, click here: Atilola

Here is a sneak preview on her latest book:

A preview from ‘In My Pocket’

‘Goshe – A short form of Shokolokobangoshe

Scenario 2

Mummy Bobo: Olowo ori mi (owner of my head), how was that favourite food of yours that I made for you? I am sure you enjoyed it. I have come to tell you about Bobo, your son. He is about to write his SSCE exams. The other day, I heard my senior wife bragging to her cousin that kola, her son, made all his papers two years ago because he is hardworking and brilliant. She then said she is sure Bobo will do the opposite and fail woefully. Olowo ori mi, please, don't let my enemies laugh at me. I know you can help me get the exam questions on the eve of every exam paper. This is the only way Bobo will be able to prove her wrong and shut her mouth forever. Daddy Bobo, you always say you love me more than my senior wife and if you really mean that, you will not let her have the last laugh over me.

Chief Goshe: Woman! Woman!! Woman!!! I have always warned you about this Bobo of a boy, but you will never listen to me. You spoil him too much, I hope he won't be the source of your downfall in future. Anyway, I will give you what you request, after which he will go to the UK to start his foundation course. You better warn your son to buckle up now, because there is no way I will fly over to meet David Cameron to organize exam papers by the time he gets to the UK. A word is enough for the wise. For now, the exam questions are not a problem. I have the education sector IN MY POCKET!

Scenario 3

Oloyinbo: (Getting up from his two minutes prostration, which Chief Goshe acknowledged by massaging his head with the sole of his left foot, he then starts hailing loudly) Baba Goshe, Baba mi, you will live long, your enemies will not see their children. Anyone that says it will not be well with you, it won't be well with them too.
Baba mi, the time has come. I need your help seriously. It’s time for the councillor election for the local constituencies. As I told you last year, I intend to contest and since I have adopted you as my political father, who else will I run to but you? Baba Goshe, don't worry about my credentials. The minimum requirement is the SSCE result and I have already sorted that out with some boys and now have my results. All I need now is your backing and support. Baba mi, I am in your hand now o.

Chief Goshe: Oloyinbo, my nephew, see your mango head like that of my father. You want to run for councillor, hmm? I thought you were joking when you mentioned it last year. I hope you know the implications of what you are doing? The politics of our time is not for the lily-livered at all. You have to be on your toes at all times. Be ready to make friends and enemies, be ready to do anything to protect your political career and even your life from political detractors. It’s a dog eat dog world and make sure you are ready for all the consequences. You should have just accepted the business I offered to set up for you, but you youths of nowadays have been bitten by the get-rich-quick bug. Since you insist, I will help you. I will take you to a meeting tomorrow, where you will meet some powerful people. But know this one thing, you must not, in turn, bite the fingers of these powerful people, including mine, when you win. You will have to dance to their tunes. Otherwise, the ground will have no choice but to reject you.
After tomorrow, your victory is a done deal. Even if you don't contest, you have won! It’s a done deal, I have the electoral system IN MY POCKET!

Scenario 4
Sisi Peperempe: (After a steamy sex session) Honey boy, cookie crumble, sweetie, darling, sugar! I need your assistance o. You remember my youngest brother, Dodoyo, he's in Anti-graft commission’s custody. He was arrested last week
(Kissing his fat filled pot belly). They said he posed as a minister and defrauded some companies. You know the story of my family and how Dodoyo and I had to see ourselves through life by all means possible. He's the only family I have. We have gone through so much and he doesn't deserve jail time or to lose all he has worked for. (Pouting her lips, with permanent red lipstick on) Baby boo, you must help Dodoyo or else ehn...

Chief Goshe: Sisi Peperempe! C'mon, rest your little head. Why are you worrying yourself over nothing? I am disappointed in the way you keep worrying and emphasizing on this issue. After the three years of us playing this 'love game', you still worry about these little things. Before you start your rants again, don't worry I forgive you. I guarantee you that it is settled. Give me a maximum of two days, Dodoyo will get out of custody and all his frozen assets will be returned. Plus the anti-graft commission, plus the person that created the anti-graft commission, I have them all IN MY POCKET!

Scenario 5

Mr. Sinwonje: (Smacking his stomach during a meal of Suya and bottles of Lager beer at a popular elite club in Abuja) Chief Goshe, what are you going to do about this latest development now? I think Mr. President is serious about this power thing this time around o. If those Japanese people dare sign that contract of the electricity overhaul in this country, that line of business is over for me o, and you know that means you will also lose your regular cut. Hmm, Goshe, this is not good news at all. That is my major income-generating business and I use it to keep body and soul, Princess and Priscilla together. Imagine that this whole country, Nigeria, will not need generators or diesels to make their life easier. This is serious disaster. I will do anything to make it fail….Read the rest of this and a lot more in your copy of Antonyms of a Mirage

The e-book is for sale on amazon and for kindle owners. To purchase the book on amazon, click below:
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Now back to my freebie.....

Happy Easter

How was the Easter break, y’all? Mine was great *grins*.  Well, it’s usually great when I can decide to wake or sleep anytime I please. No disturbance from any shrilly alarm clock and no thought of work.
I was involved in lots of church activities almost everyday (with some groove too!)

Most people prefer Christmas to Easter season but I particularly like Easter season. The triduum activity from Good Friday to Easter Sunday is what I actively look forward to. The death and resurrection of Christ is a deep and contemplative season for me. I’m reminded of Christ immense love and sacrifice or our sins. 

For some years we always watch the Mel Gibson’s “Passion of  Christ” movie on the Good Friday evenings. Irrespective of the number of times I’ve watched the movie I can’t seem to control the tears from pouring as we watch the movie. Always develop a drippy nose after. Scenes such as the betrayal by his disciples and followers, the scourging at the pillar, the agony you could see in his mother eye's and final crucifixion makes me weep. As usual it was sob; sob, sob and firm resolve to love him more.

On Easter Sunday night, I did what I didn’t do throughout my 7 years in the University I queued up for a show. Got to Eko Hotel the venue for the show and saw a long queue of eager Nigerians rushing and struggling to get in. Was almost tempted to ask if they gave out hundreds of free tickets and maybe I missed out on it. The holiday was having its toll on everyone we were all looking for some form of excitement. Got in line and fed my eyes with some outrageous clothes Naija babes wear all in the name of fashion.  Most of the female were scantily dressed, revealing either their cleavages or lengthy thighs or both. It seemed like the most indecent dressed will get a price and there was thousands auditioning for the grand price. The show was hilarious. Had maximum fun laughing, at a point I saw myself on the floor.

Eventually ended the long weekend more tired than how I was when it all started. Back to work again and anxiously longing for the weekend. 

Some Tips For Happiness

Trying to get myself out of a gloomy mood; thinking positively. So here goes some tips:

1. Make the best of your circumstances. No one has everything and everyone has something of sorrow mixed with the gladness of life. The trick is to make the laughter outweigh the tears.

2. Make up your mind to be happy. Learn to find pleasure in little things.

3. Don't spend your life brooding over mistakes or misfortunes. Don't be one that never gets over things.

4. You can't please everyone. Don't let criticism hurt you.

5. Don't let neighbor's set  your standard ( there's no need "keeping up with the Joneses"). Be yourself.

6. Don't borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder to bear than actual ones.

7. Don't take yourself too seriously.

8. Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish enmities or grudges. Avoid people who make you unhappy.

9. Do what you can for those who are less fortunate than yourself.

10. Pray for happiness.

SAD!

In the course of my daytime job (my recent night time job is surfing the net), I've come in contact with needles; from syringes to lancets. Using needles has never given me any cause for concern but heard this news last night that made me a little restless.

At the State Teaching Hospital yesterday a young doctor passed on. He graduated some years back from a prestigious medical school in the United States, got married to his heart throb (a gorgeous Pharmacist). They both decided to travel back home to Nigeria with plans to possibly relocate. In Nigeria, University graduates have to undergo a one-year youth  service program, to serve the community and make a positive impact in the communities they get posted to. The couple decided to serve their motherland and was posted to the State Teaching Hospital. They were both enjoying their stay but this all took a drastic turn yesterday. I can virtually imagine the couple having breakfast, giving each other a quick kiss on the lips and saying a hasty goodbye not knowing that may be the last.

At the OPD (Out Patient Department), he had to attend to so many patients one of which was a HIV infected patient.
Maybe he got negligent because of the large crowd he had to attend to.
Maybe he was just distracted.
Maybe it was meant to be.
Maybe.......
Unfortunately, in the course of giving an injection he mistakenly pricked himself with the syringe used for the patient. Its natural to panic after such exposure and its custom practice to give a prophylactic injection. Almost immediately Antiretroviral postexposure  prophylaxis was given. He developed severe allergic reaction to the injection and started swelling all over. All the consultants tried all they could to resuscitate him to no avail. In less than 10 minutes, the young bubbling doctor slipped on........Still in shock about it all.
Would it have been better if he hadn't taken the injection instead?

All health care practitioners should always ensure test dose is given to all patients before giving any IV/ IM injection.
Preserve life, not end it.

How Long Should Courtship Last?

This was the topic of discussion this morning with my younger sister as we were getting ready for work. Her close friend/colleague is finally getting married to her hearthrob after dating him for NINE years!(he eventually popped the question) We were both happy for her and excited that the marriage will eventually take place. But NINE years!!!! With no commitment! Not even an introduction between both families. The bride-to-be doesn't even know her father-in-law yet. Haba!!! Pardon me, i may be a little old-skool and not an average 21st century babe but NINE years!!!! I'd have been very understanding if he's reluctant cos of financial constraint or she's still in school. That's not so in this case, she graduated over 5 years ago and he has a very lucrative business. Now enough of my busy-body '"tatafo" gossip and back to the main gist. How long should a couple date before he pops the question?

Reading some literature in the past, studies have shown that the average human can have a feeling of intense chemistry that lasts for approximately 18months and 4 years. The well known love-related chemical phenylethylamine-PEA  ( also dopamine and norepinephrine) is actually what is responsible for mad passionate "lovey dovey" feeling. That feeling of instant chemistry, always wanting to be his/her company, the feeling of your heart skipping a beat when they walk by. Sadly that fades (maximum 4 years). 

In romance novels it ends with happily ever; in the real world that's when your eyes gets literally open. Open to ALL the flaws. That's when you begin to see the long sexy nose as been very ugly and gosh how did you cope with all those funny habits all the while. At this stage the relationship is based on the attachment, friendship and companionship.This does no mean that love fades, it just means that the initial excitement withers a little.

Now if it is difficult or impossible for him to care for you strongly enough to insinuate that he wants to spend his whole life with you when he is all high on neurotransmitters and adrenaline, what's the assurance that he'll develop those feelings later. Like my friend Emma always says: "A man will know if he can marry you after a spending some hours in your company". 

Personally my opinion if everything is in place and a guy can't commit within 4 years of a stable healthy relationship, i'll advice you to tread very very carefully.

Nice guys

You ever wonder why bad boys get all the good babes?

you see this lady, obviously well trained and with good family background,

yet shes in a mindless, all consuming relationship with a "good-for-nothing

bastard". This makes you and I wonder why right?

we usually begin to snicker and make such comments like "Girlfriend, open your eyes!", "You deserve better than this" or "Abi na jazz?"

Likewise some bad girls end up with very good guys

After countless abortions, exposing themselves to all sorts in their youth, 

then when they are ready to settle down.....

Viola! They get a perfect guy, gorgeous and all.

Here in my opinion are some of the reason why i think nice guys don't win the win the women, in fact bad guys do....I'm not saying all of this cause of a silent crave for a bad guy

neither do i want my very nice bobo to have a change in personality.

Just feel its better to be real than pretend to be a NICE GUY 

Nice Guys Don't Put Themselves First

One of their biggest problem is that most are hideously insecure.

They are so anxious to be liked and loved. 

They do things for other people to gain acceptance and attention,

rather than for the simple pleasure of giving.

They are so desperate to please that they put aside their own need

and place the object of their desire on a pedestal.

Instead of appreciating us, they worship us.

We are only humans and pedestals are narrow confining places to be on-

not to mention the fact that we tend to fall off them

Nice guys rarely speak up when something bothers them,

and rarely state clearly what it is they want, need and expect.

They fear that any kind of conflict might spell then end of the relationship.

Instead of compromising and negotiating, they repeatedly give in.

When she doesn't appreciate their sacrifice,

they will complain saying "Everything i did, i did for her"

as if that somehow elevates them to the status of martyrs.

A woman doesn't want a martyr,

she wants an equal, caring, adult partner.

Its Easier For Nice Guys To Mess Up

Having a brand as a "nice guy" enormously raises expectations:

The truth is, no one is nice 100% of the time,

even if they screw up by accident.

The difference is that when the when the slightly jerky guy screws,

"that's just how he is sometimes",

whereas when the nice guy screws up,

he's perceived as a hypocrite who was only pretending to be nice all along. 

Nice Guys Take Too Long To Recover

Bad guys shrug off rejection fast.

Nice guys by contrast, work very slowly.

If they get rejected, they spend weeks or months licking their wounds

before restarting the cycle.

Nice Guys Have Hidden Agenda

in general, being a good person is attractive.

For some nice guys, their niceness is not real.

Such a guy get into the habit of performing services for these women,

trying to ingratiate himself into their company.

Now you may begin to wonder,

"what's going on here?", "what does women really want!"

Its actually very simple.

Women at times don't base their choice of men on how nice he is.

They choose the men they do because they feel a powerful gut level of attraction (not compulsorily sexual) to them.

And guess what?

Being a nice guy wont make a woman feel that powerful attraction to you.

And being 'overtly nice' wont make a woman choose you.

A woman can instinctively perceive pretense.

JUST BE YOU and BE REAL!

I realize that this doesn't make a lot of logical sense and may be hard to accept

but just as the cliche says:

Nice Guys Finish Last